Saying Goodbye

It is time to say goodbye…

I was 14 when I launched my first blog. It was all about fashion, from RTW collections to editorials and models. I dedicated endless hours to writing reviews, celebrating industry icons and providing style advice. I posted every single day. In fact, there were days when I would post twice. I received no sponsorships, I was not a part of any affiliate program and I made no money from advertisements as I was not eligible at the time. I was not getting paid but I did not mind at the time as I was doing something that brought me joy. Whilst I did manage to grow a small following, my dedication was not rewarded. It was 4 years into fashion blogging when I began interning and then working in the fashion industry. This led me to discover the only thing I liked about fashion was the clothes (well, some of it), the people were incredibly ugly. As I lost interest in fashion and fell in love with beauty, my posts became infrequent. I began to post once a month. This was a sign that it was time to say goodbye and move on. After 5 years of fashion blogging, I closed my fashion blog forever.

Obsessed with beauty, I launched YBF (YourBeautyFirst). This marked a new stage in my life; I was in my final year at university and I was eager to make my mark in the publishing industry. YBF was more than just a blog; it was my first business venture. I wanted to create a digital magazine as well as an ecommerce dedicated to serving women of colour, and I did! Unfortunately, things simply did not work out. After graduating, I began working full time in education then law. I was overworked and unhappy. I was also making very little money from YBF. Due to the cost of simply existing in London, I was forced to neglect the business. This was not a conscious decision. I just stopped posting and updating the website. It was all very abrupt. I was depressed and tired. No one wanted to invest in or even work with a woman of colour. Regardless, my love for beauty and writing remained as strong as ever.

In need of an outlet to heal, I decided to focus on arts and crafts. This is something that has always made me happy. I simply wanted to have fun and educate those with similar interests, facing the same hardships as me. I launched SybilCreates. This was not a business venture. This was the prioritisation of my mental health. SybilCreates is who I am and what I do. So, it is pretty crazy to see how successful SybilCreates has become. Whilst I did not initially set out to create a business, SybilCreates is now a brand. I don’t know how to feel. I feel blessed, of course but I also feel I put in so much more effort into my fashion blog and YBF. Hmm, maybe it is because I actually enjoy what I am doing now so it does not feel like a lot of work. This is why I need to say goodbye to round-the-clock blogging; in fact, it is probably best to call it something else as I cannot remember the last time I blogged daily. I am an artist. I am a small business owner. I can no longer be dedicated to blogging full time. Take a look at my blog. It does not reflect who I am today. I remain in love with writing but I need to let go.

Life is the ultimate teacher. You never stop learning. I am currently trying to type with teary eyes; apologies if you encounter any mistakes. I have been dreading writing and sharing this post as change is terrifying but I know this needs to be written in stone or published so I cannot change my mind. I cannot continue to avoid the inevitable. Change is good. It is the key to growing and becoming better. Sadly, this blog is no longer a priority. Wow. I am really doing this. Blogging is not my career, it is a hobby. This is how I hope to approach blogging from now on. I will continue to share the odd beauty related posts here and there as I do sell beauty products. However, I will now only post when I feel compelled to. Fuck schedules! One day, this blog will reflect my interests as an artist and a small business owner. Finally, I would like to thank everyone who has read and enjoyed my blog posts. Your support is appreciated. Farewell blogging for the sake of blogging. Here’s to a new chapter in my life!

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Billie
sybilodiaka@gmail.com

Also known as Sybil, Billie is the Editor-in-Chief as well as the Founder of SybilCreates.

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